IC Contact

[ursawhiner]

Hey, you've reached Dipper Pines! I can't talk right now, but leave any questions and information after the beep and I'll get back to you. Hopefully.

Comments

[glitterateur]

[Mabel was on the fence about this-- maybe this was just a guy thing. Maybe the hair sniffing was just something Gideon did! But, no. No.]

Uh huuuh. So! Did you or Kaneda ever figure out anything else about Ken's boyfriend? Or did Ken tell you anything when he was over the other night?

[ursawhiner]

[Dipper starts looking kind of frowny.]

He didn't tell me about his boyfriend for a reason. I can't just ask him about it out of the blue.

[glitterateur]

[Internally some big red signs go off in Mabel's head. Make the match! Make the match. MAKE THE MATCH]

--I could! I could ask him, be super casual and swap boyfriend stories. I bet he hasn't told you because their relationship is going through a rough patch and maybe he wants to end it quietly!

[ursawhiner]

Mabel, no! You don't even have a boyfriend! All you can tell him about is the thing with the gnomes and Mermando stories.

[Speaking of...]

Maybe avoid talking about mermaids. He got kind of weird about it.

[glitterateur]

I can tell him horror stories! Like the stuff with Gideon and Gabe and the guy from the ten dollar bill.

--wait what kind of weird? Why would he be weird about mermaids?

[ursawhiner]

I told him about how we rescued Mermando and he got all like, red and kind of upset for some reason? Maybe he's been punched by a mermaid or something.

[glitterateur]

How we rescued Mermando? [That makes no sense.] You mean the golf cart and the cooler and the lake and the......



--was Ken mad about the reverse CPR?!

[ursawhiner]

Ugh, thanks for reminding me. Why would he be mad about that?

[glitterateur]

[MAKE THE MATCH MAKE THE MATCH MAKE THE MATCH]

Because, Dipper! Ken--

[Wait. Wait. Being too hasty might ruin this match. Or, even worse, break Dipper's heart. Before anything else she has to figure out if Ken's boyfriend is even still in the picture. First you get confirmation that he's single, then you get the perfect boyfriend for the brobro.]

...probably really didn't like hearing a story where you ended up embarrassed! Ha, yeah. That was it.

[ursawhiner]

[That was a long pause. Dipper squints at Mabel in suspicion.]

He didn't seem to care about that before. He's the one that told me I smelled like tacos.

[glitterateur]

[She is radiating innocence.]

Because you smelled like tacos. It was the best thing to do! He saved you from further embarrassment.

[ursawhiner]

I didn't know taco smell could last that long! It just kind of soaks into the skin...

[glitterateur]

Luckily that's the old you! The smellier you.

[ursawhiner]

There are other things that are different now! Like, I'm probably taller than I was before.

[glitterateur]

Do you think we're the same height now?!

[ursawhiner]

We should get Grunkle Stan to check for us.

...Do you think Bill is my height now, or the height I was when I got possessed?

[glitterateur]

I hope it's the second one! Then it's one more way to tell you guys apart. I hope he hasn't learned about sleeping.

[ursawhiner]

He might just keep going until he accidentally falls asleep. Like a puppy.

[glitterateur]

An evil puppy that wants to destroy the world. That's his thing, right? He's not just after the journals?

[ursawhiner]

That, or he wants to bring chaos to our dimension. Rule over it, maybe?

[glitterateur]

That's so creepy, eughhh. A triangle overlord!

[ursawhiner]

That's why we have to stop him! He was never supposed to come into our world.

[glitterateur]

Then Gideon went and summoned him! Why's he always have to ruin everything?!

[ursawhiner]

Some people are just ruiners. I guess Gideon's one of them.

...Can't believe you dated that guy.

[glitterateur]

I didn't know he'd get obsessed with me! I just wanted a makeover buddy!