IC Contact

[ursawhiner]

Hey, you've reached Dipper Pines! I can't talk right now, but leave any questions and information after the beep and I'll get back to you. Hopefully.

Comments

[ursawhiner]

That, or he wants to bring chaos to our dimension. Rule over it, maybe?

[glitterateur]

That's so creepy, eughhh. A triangle overlord!

[ursawhiner]

That's why we have to stop him! He was never supposed to come into our world.

[glitterateur]

Then Gideon went and summoned him! Why's he always have to ruin everything?!

[ursawhiner]

Some people are just ruiners. I guess Gideon's one of them.

...Can't believe you dated that guy.

[glitterateur]

I didn't know he'd get obsessed with me! I just wanted a makeover buddy!

[ursawhiner]

See, Ken has great hair and he isn't totally crazy.

[glitterateur]

[Oh, Dipper. You're in so deep.]

Yeah... Ken's basically perfect, right?

[ursawhiner]

I dunno, he has a giant head monster. And he still doesn't trust me, for some reason...

[Back to bummertown.]

[glitterateur]

The head monster sounds pretty cool, though? And it's not like we haven't run into weirder junk!

[She pats his shoulder. Sincere pat! Pat pat.]

He totally trusts you. He wouldn't have told you about his head monster if he didn't!

[ursawhiner]

It's basically a Pokemon inside his head.

I just don't know why he wouldn't tell me about his boyfriend!

[glitterateur]

Head pokemon are a really personal thing! [She sighs.] Look, Ken's not great at stuff that isn't about fighting or being responsible. Maybe he just doesn't understand how he's supposed to tell people! Or he worried it was going to bring you down if he told you.

[ursawhiner]

Why would it bring me down? I'd be happy for him.

[There isn't a lot of conviction in his voice...]

[glitterateur]

Uh, no you wouldn't. Remember what happened when Mermando told me he was getting married? I tried to erase my own memories, Dipper.

[ursawhiner]

That's different! You thought you were in love with Mermando!

[glitterateur]

I-- okay wow I didn't think anything! And it's not different at all, dummy!

[ursawhiner]

Unless Ken's secretly a mermaid, then yeah, it's totally different!

[glitterateur]

It is not! You're jealous of Ken's boyfriend because you like him!

[So much for worrying about being hasty.]

[ursawhiner]

[System error.

Reboot.]

What? No... that's-- What?

[glitterateur]

You're totally head over heels for him! You started showering 'cause he told you to, you're crazy mopey whenever he goes anywhere-- I bet you're even at the part where you lie awake at night thinking about him.

[ursawhiner]

That's just because-- I'm thinking about his boyfriend! Him having a boyfriend, I mean!



I don't get mopey!

[glitterateur]

You get pretty mopey. I'm the love expert, I know the signs!

[ursawhiner]

How can you be the love expert when you've never even had a real relationship!

I don't-- I can't be. That's not what's happening.

[glitterateur]

[That was the lowest blow. Mabel starts gathering up her art supplies and anti-Bill propaganda, trying not to sound too hurt.]

Whatever. You're just saying that 'cause you're in denial.

[ursawhiner]

[Dipper immediately regrets what he said.]

Mabel, wait. I'm just... I'm sorry.