IC Contact

[ursawhiner]

Hey, you've reached Dipper Pines! I can't talk right now, but leave any questions and information after the beep and I'll get back to you. Hopefully.

Comments

[ursawhiner]

Why would it bring me down? I'd be happy for him.

[There isn't a lot of conviction in his voice...]

[glitterateur]

Uh, no you wouldn't. Remember what happened when Mermando told me he was getting married? I tried to erase my own memories, Dipper.

[ursawhiner]

That's different! You thought you were in love with Mermando!

[glitterateur]

I-- okay wow I didn't think anything! And it's not different at all, dummy!

[ursawhiner]

Unless Ken's secretly a mermaid, then yeah, it's totally different!

[glitterateur]

It is not! You're jealous of Ken's boyfriend because you like him!

[So much for worrying about being hasty.]

[ursawhiner]

[System error.

Reboot.]

What? No... that's-- What?

[glitterateur]

You're totally head over heels for him! You started showering 'cause he told you to, you're crazy mopey whenever he goes anywhere-- I bet you're even at the part where you lie awake at night thinking about him.

[ursawhiner]

That's just because-- I'm thinking about his boyfriend! Him having a boyfriend, I mean!



I don't get mopey!

[glitterateur]

You get pretty mopey. I'm the love expert, I know the signs!

[ursawhiner]

How can you be the love expert when you've never even had a real relationship!

I don't-- I can't be. That's not what's happening.

[glitterateur]

[That was the lowest blow. Mabel starts gathering up her art supplies and anti-Bill propaganda, trying not to sound too hurt.]

Whatever. You're just saying that 'cause you're in denial.

[ursawhiner]

[Dipper immediately regrets what he said.]

Mabel, wait. I'm just... I'm sorry.

[glitterateur]

It's not like you're wrong. [About the real relationships thing. He's still totally in love with Ken, she's 99% sure. So cheerfulness levels will remain low, but the apology's nice to hear.] Look, just think about what I said. I promise I'm not gonna lock you in a bunker or anything.

[ursawhiner]

Last time you locked me in a bunker, things kind of worked out.

[It's a weak joke, but he's trying.]

[glitterateur]

[It gets a weak smile.]

Kind of. But once is enough when it comes to that kinda stuff.

[ursawhiner]

It doesn't really matter what I feel, anyways. Ken has a boyfriend.

[glitterateur]

Yeah.... [Though it sounds more thoughtful than resigned. Things don't add up here, and it's time to put away her matchmaker hat and put on the goggles of investigation. Time... to go straight to the source.]

Who told you about his boyfriend, anyway?

[ursawhiner]

Kaneda said Ken told him. And Kaneda said Ken's always dropping his boyfriend off at class or whatever.

[glitterateur]

But you've never seen him over at the house? And Kaneda's never actually met him?

[ursawhiner]

We tried to do a stake-out once and I fell down a bunch of stairs.

[glitterateur]

I was wondering what happened.... [Which only makes the entire thing more fishy. Dipper solved a waxy murder once! And he can't even figure out who Ken's dating? Nope. There's something else going on here.]

Hmm. Hmmmm. Okay! You know what, just leave it to me.

[ursawhiner]

--What are you planning? Do I need to warn Ken?

[glitterateur]

There's nothing to warn Ken about! [He's just getting a nice text message.] I might interrogate Kaneda, though. So I might need to borrow your conspiracy lamp.

[ursawhiner]

It's not-- it's just a regular lamp!