IC Contact

[ursawhiner]

Hey, you've reached Dipper Pines! I can't talk right now, but leave any questions and information after the beep and I'll get back to you. Hopefully.

Comments

[glitterateur]

How we rescued Mermando? [That makes no sense.] You mean the golf cart and the cooler and the lake and the......



--was Ken mad about the reverse CPR?!

[ursawhiner]

Ugh, thanks for reminding me. Why would he be mad about that?

[glitterateur]

[MAKE THE MATCH MAKE THE MATCH MAKE THE MATCH]

Because, Dipper! Ken--

[Wait. Wait. Being too hasty might ruin this match. Or, even worse, break Dipper's heart. Before anything else she has to figure out if Ken's boyfriend is even still in the picture. First you get confirmation that he's single, then you get the perfect boyfriend for the brobro.]

...probably really didn't like hearing a story where you ended up embarrassed! Ha, yeah. That was it.

[ursawhiner]

[That was a long pause. Dipper squints at Mabel in suspicion.]

He didn't seem to care about that before. He's the one that told me I smelled like tacos.

[glitterateur]

[She is radiating innocence.]

Because you smelled like tacos. It was the best thing to do! He saved you from further embarrassment.

[ursawhiner]

I didn't know taco smell could last that long! It just kind of soaks into the skin...

[glitterateur]

Luckily that's the old you! The smellier you.

[ursawhiner]

There are other things that are different now! Like, I'm probably taller than I was before.

[glitterateur]

Do you think we're the same height now?!

[ursawhiner]

We should get Grunkle Stan to check for us.

...Do you think Bill is my height now, or the height I was when I got possessed?

[glitterateur]

I hope it's the second one! Then it's one more way to tell you guys apart. I hope he hasn't learned about sleeping.

[ursawhiner]

He might just keep going until he accidentally falls asleep. Like a puppy.

[glitterateur]

An evil puppy that wants to destroy the world. That's his thing, right? He's not just after the journals?

[ursawhiner]

That, or he wants to bring chaos to our dimension. Rule over it, maybe?

[glitterateur]

That's so creepy, eughhh. A triangle overlord!

[ursawhiner]

That's why we have to stop him! He was never supposed to come into our world.

[glitterateur]

Then Gideon went and summoned him! Why's he always have to ruin everything?!

[ursawhiner]

Some people are just ruiners. I guess Gideon's one of them.

...Can't believe you dated that guy.

[glitterateur]

I didn't know he'd get obsessed with me! I just wanted a makeover buddy!

[ursawhiner]

See, Ken has great hair and he isn't totally crazy.

[glitterateur]

[Oh, Dipper. You're in so deep.]

Yeah... Ken's basically perfect, right?

[ursawhiner]

I dunno, he has a giant head monster. And he still doesn't trust me, for some reason...

[Back to bummertown.]

[glitterateur]

The head monster sounds pretty cool, though? And it's not like we haven't run into weirder junk!

[She pats his shoulder. Sincere pat! Pat pat.]

He totally trusts you. He wouldn't have told you about his head monster if he didn't!

[ursawhiner]

It's basically a Pokemon inside his head.

I just don't know why he wouldn't tell me about his boyfriend!

[glitterateur]

Head pokemon are a really personal thing! [She sighs.] Look, Ken's not great at stuff that isn't about fighting or being responsible. Maybe he just doesn't understand how he's supposed to tell people! Or he worried it was going to bring you down if he told you.